Don't Make These Money Mistakes

Who takes the lead when it comes to finances in your household? According to a study done by Bank of America last year,  94% of women believe they'll be personally responsible for their finances at some point in their lives. If that’s really the case, now is a great time to become even more knowledgeable and empowered.

In the coming weeks, we’ll be talking more about money — how to make more, and how to make it multiply. But today, we’re starting with the foundation: why you might struggle with money, the two biggest mistakes women over 40 are making, and where to focus your energy first when it comes to building wealth. You might be surprised by that answer.

Guest:

Jen Hemphill is an award-winning podcaster, AFC® (Accredited Financial Counselor), author, and speaker. Her mission is to help Latinas be more confident and simplify their finances they can save more, get out of debt quicker, and build wealth! Jen’s podcast, Her Dinero Matters is focused on helping Latinas have increased confidence and control over their finances.

Jen has been featured in publications such as Forbes, New York Times, Oprah Magazine, Good Company Magazine, NPR and NBC News.

Visit JenHemphill.com for more info.

Join Jen's upcoming virtual event, Financially Strong Latina

Get Jen's book, Her Money Matters!

COCONU: Get 15% off with promo code: GROWNASS at grownasswoman.guide/coconu 

Transcript

Episode Title: Don’t Make These Money Mistakes

Guest: Jen Hemphill

Episode Link: https://grownasswoman.guide/episode190/

Jackie: Who takes the lead when it comes to finances in your household? According to a study done by Bank of America last year, 94% of women believe they'll be personally responsible for their finances at some point in their lives. If that is really the case, now is a great time to become even more knowledgeable and empowered. In the coming weeks, we'll be talking more about money, how to make more and how to make it multiply. But today, we're starting with the foundation, why you might struggle with money. The two biggest mistakes women over 40 are making, and where to focus your energy first when it comes to building wealth. You might be surprised by that answer. This is the Grown-Ass Woman's Guide. I'm your host, Jackie MacDougall. Jen Hemphill is an award-winning podcaster and accredited financial counselor, author and speaker her mission is to help Latinas be more confident and simplify their finances so they can save more, get out of debt quicker, and build wealth.  

Jackie: Your podcast, Her Dinero Matters, is geared toward Latina women. My first question is, what are the unique challenges of Latinas when it comes to money and finance? 

Jen: There's multiple because as Latinas or with other immigrants as well, there's different subgroups of Latinas. So there's the ones that have been here forever and ever were born here, their parents have been. Here for generations, they're the ones that recently immigrated, or there are people like me that have had some advantages where I was born. I wasn't born here in the States, but I'm not an immigrant because my dad, I've had the privilege. My dad is an American citizen. So I've had that privilege of him knowing the US system and the financial system and all of that, there could be the language barrier. There's so many intricacies to the Latino community, especially when trying to teach them personal finance that you have to address it in a slightly different format. So my podcast is geared to the Latino women, but the US Latino women that really take care of their household finances, but maybe just need a little more confidence. Maybe they just need a little push. Maybe they need to simplify, I really like to simplify because sometimes we overcomplicate things. 

Jackie: What I think is interesting though, too, is that yes, that's who your audience is, but your advice, sometimes as someone who was born and raised in the US, definitely, it resonates with me. Because I do think there are a lot of experts out there who are like compounding numbers, and it just blows my mind a little bit and it kind of hurts my brain. And I know a lot of women who, when we start to talk about money, just shut down, just completely shut down. 

Jen: Right? And you may, I mean, I know when I started the podcast, it was Her Money Matters. So it wasn't geared specifically to the Latina. And I say that because I started that podcast because of that very reason of what you just said, because I want to simplify and it's not that we need to dumb down things for us women, absolutely not. But our brain thinks differently and how we connect to different information is different than males. I mean, think about how we have, you know, if there's a group of women and right there. Talk about different things, how they connect, they get each other. Like us women, we get each other and sometimes we don't have to communicate is just the nature of being female. And so I wanted to create a podcast that really connected and resonated versus talking about all that. Just a little small print that they have in different pamphlets of investments. No, that doesn't connect with you. That's not interesting.  

Jackie: Right. Jen's about making simple moves that will bring women closer to financial freedom. And I am so here for it, but first we need to get our money mindset right.  

Jen: If you're struggling, like where you're just like, but I always mess it up, or I'm always getting into debt, or I'm never going to get out of debt, if you have those types of lemony thoughts, you need to ask why. And usually that “why” is rooted to your upbringing, something, some experience that you had, because that's a piece in financial education that I've always thought isn't taught is just really understanding what your upbringing was, and how that has impacted today. Because sometimes nine out of ten, not sometimes, but nine out of ten times that upbringing, that experience, what you saw, what you heard, all of that, you carry that to the present and those cycles are repeated. 

Jackie: Right. 

Jen: They continue to repeat those cycles and you continue to repeat those cycles and you can't stop those cycles that are serving you until you address, okay, this is why back in my childhood, I saw this, or I experienced this. And that's once you are aware that that's when you can make changes and shift that what I call that money story. 

Jackie: Hmm. I love that. And I think we all have a money story. You know, this is work I've done a lot over the past few years, because when I was younger, I found a lot of success in my career and I discovered after I had kids, I had it in my head that if I was a good mom, my career would go on the back burner, and my kids would be in the front burner. And then I found struggling at a point, where it was like, why, why, why is there so much struggle? Like I'm fully capable. And I realized it was because I would sabotage. Literally sabotage myself because if I were going to be a good mom, I need to be at home or not like work or whatever it is, right? And what about the messages that we send to women like that? And it's not just, that's just happened to me. My dad was always like, “be a school teacher.” And you know, part of him is right. I'd have a pension right now, but you know, what kind of messages do you think that women maybe carry specifically that either we formed on our own or that we've taken on from somebody else? Like, do you see a lot of that? 

Jen: Yeah, I think what you're mentioned is one that we just can't, you know, we have to choose even though things are changing now. It's if you make more than the spouse and that can become an issue, you know those type of things. I mean, I see that and it's just disheartening because I mean, I'm guilty. You know, it's hard. It's, I can say, shift that mindset and move on, but it takes work and you can be working on it. Like I'm sure you have, and everything feels good and dandy and all of a sudden another life experience and boom, you're knocked down and you have to pick yourself up and still work. So it's hard. There's so many different scenarios that I've seen, but it just boils down to just having more and that's the other thing is just having more for me. That's a big thing because growing up in Colombia, I saw poverty. My parents were the 1st gen to go to college, but we weren't high class. We were like, middle to prime, maybe low. It was a financially challenging time. So when I saw my parents, they've started over here in the U.S. It was a matter of feeling guilt because I saw other family members and whatnot, not progressing or just kind of being stuck. And so I had a, we shouldn't have more. It's the guilt of having more. I see that as well. And I've been there. 

Jackie: Wow. Most money experts are not admitting that. 

Jen: I'll admit everything.  

Jackie: I think that's why you're here because I just, you know, being candid is important to me. Thank you for having me. And we always talk about the work, do the work on your money mindset, do the work on your money story. What does that look like? 

Jen: That looks like journaling. I mean, essentially it's journaling. There's no one way of doing it. But for me, how I go about it is just, you need to think through your upbringing, but you need to write that down because we can think through, okay, I had this experience. I have this memory where, I don't know, that just didn't go well, but you need to write those down and you need to compare it to the money. What kind of thoughts come to your mind right now? And are they connected to the stories? And what kind of thoughts do you want to have? Maybe you've been fearing looking at your checking account because maybe the balance is low, or maybe you've had fees because it's been overdrawn, whatever it is. So what kind of thoughts do you want to have instead of I don't want to look at my checking account. I'm excited to look at my checking account. So it's really journaling, and since it's mindset work, I wish I could say, uh, go take this Vitamin C and you'll be good. Right? But that's not how it goes. It's more about self discovery and self discovery is really done with a lot of reflection in journaling. And I was always, for me personally, honestly, Jackie, journaling, I always battled it. Cause I'm like, Oh, that's just so hokey pokey. But what journaling does of writing is you get clarity. 

Jackie: Hmm. 

Jen: And that when I realized that, that's when I just became a believer , in journaling and really, 'cause you get clarity. Because you can ask yourself questions because you can ask them, you know? Right. You know, to yourself silently. But you're not gonna have as much clarity as if you are journaling and, and. It's not going to make as much of an impact because it's just it was a thought and it's in and out where it's when your journal it's those things where you write you remember more.  

Jackie: And let's be honest, I could lie to myself all day in my brain. I am the biggest bullshit artist, you know, but when you write it down, you call yourself out. You cannot lie to yourself on the paper. I don't think it's possible or at least you see it and you're like, Oh, I'm so full of crap. So that's a great tip. Yeah. And so where do you turn other than journaling? Do you have any place you turn when you need a little mindset shift? 

Jen: The other thing is keeping track of your wins and I learned that through my husband, actually, not because he said, Oh, you should be keeping track of your wins. It was just by, by default, because as women, we tend to do a checklist, like your day to day, and then you put too much and then you don't achieve all of them. Like, that's just, you know, my default and I'm still working on that. But there was one time where it was when I started the business and I was just down because I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm failing. And I, all this stuff. And I was, what is that crying? The ugly cry to my husband and he had to stop me. He's like, hold up. Have you looked at what you have accomplished? 

Jackie: Right.

Jen: And that's when I had the aha moment. And then he went through just different things that I never, it was just kind of accomplish it and I just, it just went on my day versus really acknowledging and celebrating. So that's when I'm like, I need to keep track. So I started keeping track of those wins. And when I need a boost, I look at him and I'm like, Oh, you know what? I'm pretty good after all. So, yeah, yeah. So I think that's important and it gives you a boost. 

Jackie: Yeah. Well, thanks hubby. Thanks for that. You know?  So It's reported that roughly 23% of financial planners are women. And that shows in the expert slash influencer space as well. And out of those female experts, I do follow. Many of them are very young and speaking to a younger audience, we need someone who not only understands the challenges of women over 40. but has lived them herself. When I see all these experts out there and many of them are so good, like there's some that I follow and they're amazing, but they're constantly talking to, you're 25. You're 27. You're 30. Like, this is how you should be saving. This is how you should be investing, all that stuff. And when it comes to the audience here, definitely over 40, it can be very challenging. And so what would you say to a woman who's 50 years old and is like, I don't even want to hear you talk about this stuff because it just makes me feel like I'm behind. 

Jen: Right. And I like that. You asked this question because you're right on the social media space. It's a lot of millennials. That's who is talking on social media. And so naturally they're going to address millennials and Gen Xers there were not being addressed. So to answer that question, you're right. You're going to feel behind when you hear that, but you have to set that aside. You have to really define what you want your future to look like  for you, because retirement, the scope of retirement and what it looks like has drastically changed over the years. Well, not all the jobs, but you tended to have a job that had a pension. So  pretty much you stayed in that job for 20 years or 20 plus years. You came out of that job and boom, you were set, you were good to go. Things have changed, right? And so now if you're not investing in that 401k, or maybe you have a job that doesn't offer that, there might be that possibility you have to just if you have that 401k, you have to be disciplined to invest and take advantage of that matching money. If that employer offers a matching money. And if they don't have a 401k, you have to be disciplined to go out and open up a Roth. There's those components, so you want to define Okay. What that retirement looks like for you. And then you don't have to go into the nitty gritty of the calculations of inflation and all that, but just think about like, if 10, because with us, I was going to say 30. No, that's not a and 10, 15, 20, whenever you want to retire first, they're fine. When you want to retire and then from there, what does that look like financially? What do you want to live on numbers wise? Is it the current income that you have now or is it more? I mean, what does that look like and what could it look like? Are you going to be possibly still? I mean, things are so different now. We are still helping kids because maybe they have a need or whatever, or maybe you're taking care of our parents, which we're entering into that phase. So what do you want that to look like? And then there are retirement calculators out there, then work backwards. Now, granted, let's be real. If let's say you're just starting out. It's not that you're behind, you're just going to have to put more into the investments, right? To be able to come out where you possibly want to be. Now, if that looks, you know, if you use a retirement calculator, you're like, Oh my goodness, I'm never going to get there. Just take a breath. Because if you think about it, if I think of my grandmother, she didn't have a pension plan and somehow, granted, the kids chipped in and helped out, but somehow it worked out. So I am of the mindset, do what you can with what you have. And things somehow, you know, you figure those things out as you go. So if you feel like you're starting late or maybe you feel like you don't have a lot set aside, it's not the end of the world. You just do what you can with what you have. Think about how, because if you don't know what you want your life to look like, you can't create that, right? 

Jackie: Mhm.

Jen: You have to be able to have that vision of what you want your life to look like to see what you can do to get there with what you have. And the other part of this is if you're, feel like you're starting late, then you may. Or may not have the advantage that you have more because maybe you're not taking care of kids. You know, there's going to be some of us that are doing both or one or the other. And there's some of us that have that advantage. Everybody's gone. We're good. We're empty nesters. Parents are good or whatever. And you have that extra cash flow that you can put towards the retirement, towards investing, setting it aside. So it just all depends. And I know I went off on a tangent. So hopefully I answered your question.  

Jackie: Absolutely. And I think, you know, everybody's situation is so unique. You talked about the kids. There are some people who, their plan is to take care of the kids, college, right? And they're going to take out loans, or they're going to do their thing, or maybe they saved in advance, to take care of college. What are your thoughts on parents paying for college versus not? 

Jen: I have a lot of thoughts because I've got one in college right now. At first, I was of the mindset, since our kids were babies, like our youngest doesn't know, but since they were babies, we started putting away in a 529k. It wasn't a lot. It was what we could. Right? So we told our oldest once he graduated, hey, we have this money for you towards college. Granted, I have been to college. I was fortunate not to come out with student loans, but I was also going to school the same school that my mom was a professor at, and so therefore the tuition was very, very minimal. So I was fortunate. So. my mindset then when we started putting money away was here's some money. We set this aside, surprise, but before that, they needed to start working on what they can get in scholarships? Well, my idea or my ideal situation. It didn't. Of course, it never works out how you envision, right? It just never does. And what I didn't take into account, granted, when we started saying they weren't those fancy calculators. I mean, online back in the year, early 2000 was just getting started. So we didn't have those tools to really figure out, okay, how much should we be saving for college? And you and I know college costs are ridiculous. Let's just be real. It's just out of this world. Now, being in the times that we are having a kid in college, I know some parents want to take on those loans. I get that, and I'm not saying allow your kid to go into debt, because I don't believe that either. Because at 18, with the When your child graduates, they may be 18, 19. It's not right. They don't have the maturity or the knowledge, the real life experience to take on all that debt. I mean, they're not even necessarily, maybe some have that savings. Everybody's different. I just, personally for me, I don't think it's right. Is it right for the parent to take on a lot? I don't think so either, because You're taking away from the money that you need to put towards retirement. And I'm also of the mindset you yes, put money in a 529K, but prioritize you because then you're going to put later down the line, you may put your kids in a situation to take care of you. Right? And so it's tough. 

Jackie: So how do you pay? So, we don't want to take it on. We don't want to put it on our kids. 

Jen: That's the difficult decision because you need, I mean, the other thing. Yeah. Well, you can apply with what's for scholarships. And yeah, that is. But with the experience that I've had with my oldest is It's another full time job to apply for all those scholarships. That's a lot of time  and some of it pans out and some don't. So what do you do? It's hard to, you really have to understand. Do your research with the colleges. See how much. Of course, the tuition costs and the approximation of what the aid they provide, because that information is provided, like, you know, the tuition is $80,000 a year, which still boggles my mind.

Jackie: Is that the tuition at your son's school? 

Jen: Yes. We're not paying, he's got some aid, but goodness. Uh, that's for another episode. So there's the tuition and then there's an approximated aid and then that's another episode to a full conversation is what the government, when you fill out the FAFSA, what they deem that they think. You can contribute as a family based on your assets and all that. And I don't agree how they calculate that. I just, I mean, as consumers were taught, we need to have emergency savings. We need to pay down debt. We need to say, we need to do all those things. And I'm thinking, yes, we, I mean, I agree. I mean, this is my world, but who is the government to tell us what to do with that money? That's where I. Disagree, because, yes, there's some assets that they don't take into account, like the 401k Roth. They don't take those type of things into account. But if you have money sitting in savings that are for emergencies.

Jackie: So basically the government is saying, Hey, you know that 50, 000 you have in savings because you've been good to protect yourself? Yeah. That we think that we could use that in your child's college. 

Jen: Come on now. So I have a hate, hate relationship with how they do that because it puts those that are really working to put themselves in really good financial health for lack of better terms to not be able to receive more aid, right,  

to receive any of that. So it's an uphill battle. I mean, if I wanted, I would go to war with them. I want to go to war with the financial institutions for charging too much. I want to go to war with the student loan stuff like that.

Jackie: Seriously. 

Jen: Okay, you can shut up.

Jackie: I got you fired up. I'm good. This is fantastic. So not everybody has kids. Not everybody's worried about college. Not everybody's in a position to pay for college. I want to get back to the woman over 40, the grown ass woman, right? Perhaps she's put a little bit into a 401k when she worked and she's had the wherewithal as a business owner and, or, put away money in an IRA and a Roth IRA, which I was given the advice that you maybe put one a little bit in the IRA and a little bit in a Roth because one is pre tax and one is tax later. And so it's sort of advantageous. Would you agree with that? 

Jen: Yes, because what the 401k, it helps with your taxes, minimize your tax liability. 

Jackie: Mm. 

Jen: Right? And then that's why that pre tax money, and then the Roth, it doesn't minimize your tax liability now, but it'll max your tax liability in the future because what the money that you put in there is post tax dollars. So it's good to have both. Of course, with the 401k, you can put more money in, I think it's like 22, you can max it at about 22,000. With a Roth it’s 65 or 6,500. It's less. So, yeah, I would do those things, would have both. There's no reason why you can't. 

Jackie: Awesome. Awesome. So let's talk mistakes. Jen says our biggest mistake is not where we put our money, but where we place blame. So when you work with women over 40 who maybe haven't been consistent in their income, consistent for whatever reason, consistent in their savings, what are some of the mistakes you see and how can we fix them? 

Jen: Mistake number one is putting yourself down for what you haven't done and not celebrating what you have, because let's face it: as women, we either take breaks from our career to take care of family members. As you mentioned, some may go into entrepreneurship or back to the corporate sector. There's those different things that impact the money that you bring in. And of course, that can impact the money that you put towards investing towards savings. So number one, I think there's a lot of shame and guilt that we put on ourselves and we need to set that aside. Number two, just start or restart wherever you're at with what you have, it doesn't matter if you feel like, well, it's 50 dollars or 100 dollars. Is it really going to do anything? Just do it. Just do it, because once you start seeing the growth. And I am going to mention compound interest, the compound interest is just magical. it's a magical thing where your money multiplies because of the interest. Uh, so you want to be able to take advantage of that. so just one stop shaming or putting that guilt on yourself to just do it with what you have, 50, a hundred dollars, whatever that is. And the other thing too, I think that's important. It's not a mistake, but I think it's important, especially when you're thinking long term. Look, I know Social Security is not anything that we need to rely on, but we need to know. If you haven't created a login and to with social security, you can log in and it'll tell you this year you started working and based on how many hours and all their eligibility when you retire, this is how much your check will be. 

Jackie: And it's different at different ages too, right? Mm-hmm. 

Jen: Correct. So that's a consideration because that's going to, if you're stressed thinking, Oh, I haven't put away in the 401k or Roth. Well, that could be less money that you think about because that's money that you can count on when. You retire, so I would encourage you to look at that and see what that looks like. So those are, I think, the two main mistakes. Is just not getting started or just thinking I don't have enough and if you don't think you have enough, you just need clarity around your finances. What money is coming in once money is going out. So those are the two main mistakes. 

Jackie: Right. And you talk about retirement, which I think. Is important. And at the same time, I see more and more people who don't, maybe they retire from one thing, but then they can start working in another area. Do you think that we're living at a time where you retire at 65 and then you just sit on the beach of Boca Raton? I feel like it's changed a little bit. So what is, what does retirement look like for your average,  

Jen: I think we could be working longer, not maybe because we have to, maybe it's because it's an income or maybe because we want to, I look at my parents, I look at, in-laws that have retired or my mom who is 77 and she'll still kind of like, ah, I don't know. I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid to retire. 

Jackie: Okay. Wow. 

Jen: But I think it is because she's afraid because retirement is a huge change. So you go from being so active to needing to fill up your time. So it's a scary thing. So I think what it looks like is different. I think more people are going to be working because they just like it, especially now with more people being entrepreneurs and if they're enjoying what they like, why not? I think it's good to maintain ourselves healthy mentally. Right? And to just, and I'm no doctor, but that's my disclaimer, but I, that's what I think. And, the other thing, yes, yes. And, there might be just a need financially and that's okay. That's not, I mean, things have changed. 

Jackie: Well, I see, also after the pandemic, there are a lot of people who are working online or remotely when that wasn't an option, and I think that actually opened some doors. Or maybe keep the door open a little bit longer for somebody who doesn't have to commute and do the things that wear us out at any age, really. And so that's interesting. But what are some of the ways you see a lot of people who want to retire? Maybe they want to make a little bit of extra money now so they can, and while they have the energy and the health and all of those things. And so do you see people picking up. New work or moving into a new line of work at a certain age. 

Jen: Yes, I do in terms of side hustles, whether they're doing it for fun or just extra money, but I think it's important because we live in a world that unfortunately people, a lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck. I mean, costs of everything, not just college houses. Everything is just at an all time high. Yeah. And the income or the salaries haven't necessarily matched up, have risen to to meet that so sometimes it's definitely a need but with side hustles when you're considering just earning extra income You first you really want to define because there's all sorts of different side hustles some that give you instant income so like the gig economy in terms of uber right uber eats or Uber when you take someone from location A to location B. So those are instant and there's others Side hustles that are not some instances that are maybe the blogs. The same with YouTube. So you wanna consider what it is you need from the side hustle? Is it instant or do you have time? And you also wanna consider what kind of time is it going to take to create that income that you want? Or need, so those are some considerations that often are overlooked?

Jackie: Mm hmm. 

Jen: Like, oh, blogging is a side hustle. Yeah, it is. But it's going to take some time, depending on what you write about and all that. So, if you're needing more instant income, and you want to do something that you enjoy, you want to explore and do all those things. 

Jackie: Yeah. I think there's so many of us who do something. I've talked about this on the podcast so many times, like we all have something or a skill or a gift that we do automatically and we just think that everybody else does too. And you could actually monetize that, you know, like people who. decorate cakes. I am not that person. But if there were a neighbor who did that as a side hustle, I'd be much more likely to go to them than to go to the local store. 

Jen: There was one that I saw, I don't know if it was TikTok, probably a video. Cause yeah, I'm guilty of scrolling, but I saw one where the, how she made her money was literally, it wasn't voiceover acting, but it was when people were making steps, she was matching her steps to the video now. I'm like, you've got really, this, 

Jackie: Like a Foley artist, like, like doing the sound effects for the video. 

Jen: But literally, so let's say that in the movie, there's someone like stepping up, you know, going up some stairs. So this person would recreate that sound and she gets right.

Jackie: Gonna have to send me that video. I have to link to that one. 

Jen: I know there's some others, but I'm not going to mention because I'm like, that's taking it a little too far. Let's just think of donations of, not of clothes, but there's sperm donations and all that.  But there's other sort of donations as well. I'm like, really people that are going to that extent. Okay. 

Jackie: Yeah. Well, there's a limit for everyone. You know, there are people who are making money showing their feet. So I have no judgment here. 

Jen: Yeah, I do, people have said, you know, I've got nice looking feet. So I'm like, maybe I should consider that maybe my hands 

Jackie: Well, we'll just start an OnlyFans together. 

Jen: Model hands!

Jackie: And OnlyFans for women over 50. No, I'm gay. So let's go back to the, so the mistakes that we made, we're judging ourselves. We're giving ourselves a hard time and we think that it's too late and, no matter how much we have, we should just start. Got that. So there are so many different schools when it comes to catching up, right? There's like, six months of savings, and I'm talking about like, there are people out there who are being laid off in a variety of different industries. There's a lot of shit happening right now. And so I think we need to do episodes where we're talking about building wealth and doing some really powerful things with money. But this particular one, I want to lay the foundation for those who maybe haven't taken care of the finances as well as they had hoped or thought. And you know, the years just tick on by and here they are laid off or whatever's happening. We hear about paying off credit cards, paying off debt. We hear about having six months of savings. Yeah, there are a variety of things and you ask a different expert and they're like, this is what you do first. Let's just say we have a woman. She just doesn't even know where to focus her energy right now when it comes to catching up and preparing herself for the next 20, 30 years, you know, knock on wood. Where does she start? 

Jen: What's most painful for her? That is where I would start because here's the thing. I know with people paying off debt, there's a school train of thought, , pay off the debt with a higher interest. Because, you know, if you count, do the math, yes, you can save more money, but really, what is it going to take to take that weight off your shoulder? Right? So I'm more, I am of the School of Thought where you want to do small goals and achieve those and build on those goals. Right? So I am of the school of thought. Yes, you may have a credit card that has a high interest rate and a bigger balance, but if you have another credit card that has a smaller balance. Work on those quick wins first. Right? So what is most painful for you? If it's with that, is it? A particular credit card debt because you, I don't know, brings a painful memory or I don't know of a time. What is most painful or is it, your emergency savings? Because you went through again, it typically is with an experience that that person had that maybe left them in debt. Right. And as a result of not having emergency savings, it's just really about what is most painful for you. Not what the experts say, follow your instincts and your God. I always, always say that experts are experts in money, but that financial experts are not experts in you. You have a unique situation, household situation, personal situation, that no one knows best, but you, and so you have to, yes, you can lean on the experts for their guidance, but at the end of the day, that decision that you make, you know, what's best for you and your household. 

Jackie: Yeah. That's amazing. I don't think I've ever heard anybody say that, , and it's perfect because when we're in that pain, right, when we see that bill and it brings up so much for us, how could we ever be empowered to make really strong, smart choices, when we're constantly suffering?

Jen: Right, it's hard. It's hard. So those quick wins and when you are able to take that weight off your shoulder are huge. 

Jackie: Yeah. That's great. What are some things we can do to empower ourselves over the next 20 years? 

Jen: If you don't have a budget, definitely have a budget. And I know budgets are not necessarily the most popular, but just remember a budget is a plan. For your money and the plan for your money is made by you. So you get to control what that budget looks like because it's not restrictive. Okay, let me take that back. It can be restrictive. If you're at a point in your life that you're trying to achieve some sort of goal, and maybe you have to make some sacrifice, right? But it doesn't have to be restrictive. You can create a budget where you're, okay. I don't know if you like to go get manis and pedis, you can really build that in, but you can't just go get the manis and pedis and be all good without knowing and having clarity as to, okay, where is all this money going? So having that plan really empowers you. And I think that's really, really essential. And it's not about making it complex either, because with budgets, it's about choosing a tool that really works with you, with your life, because you could be a person that likes spreadsheets another person is just really afraid of spreadsheets and that's completely okay. So you want to choose a tool that really works with you and that you're going to be consistent with. So it's all about consistency with a budget in anything you do. So you want to create it in a way that you're going to enjoy it. And at first, maybe it, it may take getting used to, but when you see it working for you, that's when that fear is going to go away. 

Jackie: Yeah. And I like, I like the way you say that because when I think about, you know, I work on a podcast project, there's always like, well, what's your budget, right? Like budget doesn't have to be this restrictive, stressful word. And that's what we do. We're like, Oh, I'm on a budget. Meaning I can't do anything fun. All good times are off the table for me, but it's not necessarily that it's like a budget in those good times, a budget in that. me time. so that way you know where it's going. So are, do you have any tools that you recommend when it comes to someone who's just starting a budget? 

Jen: I used to recommend tools. I mean, you can do it simple, just in a notebook. You can do a spreadsheet. There's all sorts of different free spreadsheets. you can go to the app, there's Mint. You need a budget. I mean, they each have differences. I know you need a budget and it takes a little learning curve to use, so it's really about trying something, see if it works for you. And if not, you know, it doesn't work for you and you try something else, but just, I just encourage you to figure out what it is that works for you because what the, you need a budget and with meant that you can customize it, , maybe somewhat, but you have to figure out what. Is it about Mint or what is it about the spreadsheet that does or does not work for you so you know next time because sometimes it's the tool that is holding you back versus the actual, you know, the budgeting piece, 

Jackie: When you go to work out, if you're not somebody who wants to take Zumba, you know, you're not going to work out. Like, so yeah. 

Jen: Me running because I won't do it. 

Jackie: You're like, it is not happening. 

Jen: Or biking. No. 

Jackie: Really? What is your exercise of choice? 

Jen: Uh, weight training. 

Jackie: Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Weight training and walking. I mean, those are the two that we really could be doing through the rest of our lives. Okay. So you need a budget. So now we've got a budget. We know where our money's going. What's next? 

Jen: When actually I didn't mention is, before you have a budget, one thing that I do recommend is to get clear on your expenses, meaning, I mean, yes, tracking your expenses, but categorizing your expenses in three different forms. You're variable, you're fixed and the ones that come every once in a while, I forget the term right now, but basically your fix is basically the bill that comes every single month and it doesn't change in dollar amounts. The variable is your groceries, your gas, when you put gas in the car and the other ones occasional. That's what I was trying to say. The occasional may be a bill that comes once a year. And the reason why I say that is that. It improves how you budget, because especially when it comes to the occasional expenses. So occasional could be birthdays, right there, there will be, let's say you have a, you have the same income month after month, and your expenses may vary from month to month because of those variable expenses and those occasional, but less. Take, you know, we may not have small kids, but let's go back when we had smaller kids when the birthday parties were like every single weekend and you were always buying those gifts. I'll never forget those days. Those months that those expenses are going to increase. But what if those expenses increase above that money coming in? right, so with those occasional expenses, it's really good to take out a calendar and write down. Okay. And just in January, I don't know, X birthdays come up, or maybe whatever it is, or maybe you go routinely every three months for your hair. Maybe you go monthly. I don't know, but for those occasional expenses, it's good to plan. So you can figure out how much you are spending and get an average amount for a month. So you can incorporate it into your budget. And when you do that, you can set that money aside. This is just a short version of explaining. You can set that money aside. Some people call it sinking funds, there's different names of what people call it. When you set that money aside, because you put it in your budget, you see how it fits in your budget with the income coming in and the expenses going out and you set that money aside every single month. So, when those expenses come due, you're not trying to figure out where you're going to pay it from because you've been saving every single month for those occasional expenses. So that's important because that's another piece. Besides the tool, but it's the occasional expenses that I think in my experience really, make people quit budgeting because they're like, Oh, this didn't work.  

Jackie: Hmm.  

Jen: It just needed a little more planning. 

Jackie: Interesting. Yeah. I think about car repairs, things like that. You're like, Oh, I wasn't expecting that this month. 

Jen: Right. 

Jackie: And they show up in threes, just like deaths. 

Jen: Of course. 

Jackie: Okay. So, we've planned that. We've budgeted. What's next? 

Jen: Then it's just really, making sure you don't stop dreaming. Right. So I'm a big fan of what my clients, when I was doing one on one coaching, they would create a budget. Present budget and they would create a dream budget. And  

that essentially was literally just thinking, okay, this is how I'm living now, but if I could have this amount more, I don't know, to go out to eat this amount more for traveling, what would this look like? Right so they would create their, again, their present budget and they would create a future or a dream budget of what they would want their life to look like in those different areas. Because then you had tangible approximations, right? They're not like all perfect numbers, but approximations of if you could travel more. Right. This is how much you would need. And this is how much you would need to set them outside a month, which means this is how much income you would have to have, and it really gives a tangible number of what you need. Because sometimes what my clients found was that they weren't far off. To what they really want, how they want to live. They just maybe need a little more because sometimes we think, oh, if we could only travel more. Oh, if we could only do this more. Oh, but we don't put tangible numbers. So if we don't put tangible numbers to those things we want to do, 

Jackie: Yeah. 

Jen: How can we work towards them?  

Jackie: Yeah.  

Jen: We just think this is what we want to do, but I don't think it's possible. You don't know. You have to just figure out what those dollar amounts are, and then figure out what you can and cannot do at this time. 

Jackie: Yeah. That's brilliant because I see that all the time. You know, Maybe somebody thinks like I could never own a house and then they do the math. And it's actually not that much more than the rent that they're paying, especially these days. Right? I think sometimes we're like, oh, I'd have to have so much more money to be able to do this or do that. And so putting those actual numbers down, it's like, wait, I just need to make. this much more per month to be able to go and take a dream vacation every year. I think that really is the long and short of it that we have to stop burying our head in the sand and thinking it will go away or get better on its own. For more from Jen, visit jenhemphill.com or follow @JenHemphill on all the social channels. And if you take away one thing from this episode, it is this.  

Jen: You know, more than you think, especially when it comes to money, as I mentioned earlier, you're your own financial expert. Could you learn more about money? We all can, but you know, your situation best. And so it just takes a little leaning maybe on financial experts, but trusting your instincts. So it's all about trusting your instincts and we, as women, have such great instincts. So I think, stick to those instincts and when making those decisions. 

Jackie: Fantastic. I love that. If you're interested in working with Jen, she has an amazing event coming up . Financially Strong Latina is a virtual event that kicks off November 1st and as the go-to space for Latinas seeking financial freedom and knowledge. 

Jen: Gather financial experts in the Latino community to teach and educate our community around money, because we're more apt just like women were more apt to listen to each other when it comes to finances, because we are able to connect and we're able to communicate and understand each other the same with it. 

Jackie: You can find the link to that in the show notes at grownasswoman.guide/episode190. Thank you so much for listening. For more information links to related episodes, and a transcript of this episode, visit grownasswoman.guide/episode190. And let's connect on social at grownasswoman.guide. By the way, if you like the show, I would love if you'd share a rating and review on your favorite podcast app. Until next time. You are a Grown-Ass Woman. Act accordingly. The Grown-Ass Woman's Guide is produced by Grown-Ass Creative, a media and marketing agency powered by grown-ass women over 40. 

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